Such a difference

Lazy mornings
Waking up from a diversitating night
You think everything is okay
So you smile

Things go different by seconds
One time laughing
The other screaming out loud
Or at least want too

Sometimes you want to be alone
Closed in a dark room
Thinking about nothing
All yourself feeding into the dark

Make peace with it
Have a way to see it as a miracle
Pull it together
See yourself in another world

Discover new happening
Believe that life happens
Be happy
Somehow you gotta add up

Your darkness maybe your happiness
Might be a breakthrough to a story
Not terrifying
But helping

Maybe

Silent night: just the sounds of crickets and police sirens from a distance.
Stuck inside a car in deep thoughts.
I can't seem to clearly get what my thoughts are.

Maybe I'm thinking of what might happen to the world in the next few months.
Maybe am thinking of that CS who said students will use video conferencing and am thinking of that student who can't access the internet and he/she might not have a laptop or a smartphone
Maybe am thinking of how poor our leaders are not in terms of money but intellect
Maybe I'm thinking of how boring it is to not have something to wake up to everyday.
Or maybe I'm thinking it is the end times... and we are all just waiting for the sound of trumpets... or maybe not... this tough times could be to test our faith in God
Maybe the closure of churches to reduce congestion is a way to truly test the believers faith..."those who go to church to be seen and their faith in God is weak."
"Those who only think God answers prayers only if they pray in front of a priest or if a priest prays for them:"
Maybe my thoughts are just that
Wild thoughts.

~Amuj~

What if

What if time was reversible
I could sit down
Write my way back
Back to my childhood

Moments we smiled genuinely
Times when nothing was stressing
What if I never loved
Never had feelings

Never felt any pain
Never felt any damage
What if I was immortal
Lived under pressure for 200 years

What if
If am dead and my life is a dream
All the love story I have
All the people I meet

Are in my dream
What if basically there was no one for me
What if being sorry is really me
What if being bored is me

What if I surrender
Clearly never to exist
Would the pressure still be there
Would I ever feel sad

What if happiness
Is all in one page of our lives
We turn the page and close it
We move or skip the pages

The good boring pages
The pages on a novel
The stupid pages with no new word
The ones we tend to skip

What if that is
Our happiness and love life
Sad story life that makes us happy
What if

Things that make me happy
Are closed in a shade
Dark green pages we never see
We never tend to find

What if
The story I write about you
Never gets out of my head
What if, my imagination

Imagination, fantasy is all about you
What if
My future entails nothing
Nothing at all but you

What if I wake and never find out the truth
Is life fucked up as it seems to be
What if the pandemic swipes us away
What story will there be??

What if the dead never die
Where do they go
You don't want to find out
No one really wants to die

What if I never find you
One morning you are wiped out of existence
Where will my thoughts go
What should I think about

What if I could stop
Thinking about you and live
Is that even life
What if you are not the one

What if am not thinking right
What if am dead inside
But I smile
I keep hoping
What if???

Fantacy

He is the guy I wish
The guy my heart beams for
The guy I'll go down for
My entire space
Scripted under the sun
I love the view of
Moon through your eyes
Every sunset on your chins
The kind of person
The sun smiles unto
No shade no limit
A slogan for the nights
Night color
So dark you can't see
But through my eyes
The eyes of the darkest
Of their times
I surrender under your arms
Full attention of the moment
Times elapsing as needed
Seated on your very laps
A language I want on my table
Salad full of fruits
The angle I could show you the world
Not under the sun
But under the stars
On the day the moon
Fades away to the darkest of the days
I love it out here
But I surrender under the stars
Flowing and blooming
A chance to get this over
Again in a lifetime
Joy times of the night
The shade under the dark

Spicy😋

Space has a lot
I see space and think of everything
There's been a space in my heart
Ever since I learnt

I learnt you were falling
Falling for love
If not in love
I could see it in your eyes

The way you talk
The silence when she's gone
The moments you wish
The texts and phone call

Those that you had
I knew in my heart
I had chosen the wrong
A heart to love a wrong

I know you fell for her
When all the time
It was supposed to be me
I get it am not pretty

Not pretty as she is
Everyone would like
Just to have her all alone
But not you

I can
Allow you to fall for her
But you will never get time
Time to go behind me

I lost love
I lost sight in whatever
I saw the worst side of you
And I never forgot to judge

Whispers😍

All of other times

I put my mind on you

You like a flower

Blossom free when you can

When you blossom you thrill me

I love your scent

It's nothing I could ever want

I could talk of your scent

Everyday I speak of your scent
I find myself drolling over you
Your lips so fine
They have a hint of pink

Maybe red I could say
The last time I saw you smile
You had your black official shirt
I kept looking over at you

I love your attitude
Everytime you hug me
I always want the moment to last
And it always does

A whisper of how
How you've been doing
In my ears before
Before the hug comes to an end

How I wish
A wish that you never stop
To never stop smiling
And the taste of you

All of your taste
The look in your eyes when you saw me
I notice buh act like not
I notice how happy you are

And it's all a crush
And a mind of a writer
Does the speaking
Speaking of the whispers