What if

What if time was reversible
I could sit down
Write my way back
Back to my childhood

Moments we smiled genuinely
Times when nothing was stressing
What if I never loved
Never had feelings

Never felt any pain
Never felt any damage
What if I was immortal
Lived under pressure for 200 years

What if
If am dead and my life is a dream
All the love story I have
All the people I meet

Are in my dream
What if basically there was no one for me
What if being sorry is really me
What if being bored is me

What if I surrender
Clearly never to exist
Would the pressure still be there
Would I ever feel sad

What if happiness
Is all in one page of our lives
We turn the page and close it
We move or skip the pages

The good boring pages
The pages on a novel
The stupid pages with no new word
The ones we tend to skip

What if that is
Our happiness and love life
Sad story life that makes us happy
What if

Things that make me happy
Are closed in a shade
Dark green pages we never see
We never tend to find

What if
The story I write about you
Never gets out of my head
What if, my imagination

Imagination, fantasy is all about you
What if
My future entails nothing
Nothing at all but you

What if I wake and never find out the truth
Is life fucked up as it seems to be
What if the pandemic swipes us away
What story will there be??

What if the dead never die
Where do they go
You don't want to find out
No one really wants to die

What if I never find you
One morning you are wiped out of existence
Where will my thoughts go
What should I think about

What if I could stop
Thinking about you and live
Is that even life
What if you are not the one

What if am not thinking right
What if am dead inside
But I smile
I keep hoping
What if???